we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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