I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
