we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
