is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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