Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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