hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
