So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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