Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
