Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
