He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
