a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
