dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Someone came in the potted fern
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
