Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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