It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
