peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
