After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
