Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
