I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
