We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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