Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
