No stitches, just platelets and will power
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
