Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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