You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
