i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
