she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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