I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
