Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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