Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
