you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
