she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
