i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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