I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize