you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
