My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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