im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
