Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
