No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
