After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
