dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize