last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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