She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
