If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
