Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
