It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
