if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I need a burrito and a hug.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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