I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
