Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
