Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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