Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize