Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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