We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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