I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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