So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think my fart just growled at me.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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