how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
handjob tips. give me some.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
