yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
