god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
