More tranny stories later!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
