Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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