next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
