google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
