i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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