Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
