remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
