I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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