Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
