It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
