Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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