Buhtt sex?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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